Give me time.

I thought I needed you, a lot. I never understood you, nor did I want to, because somehow I thought that would mean you were pushing me out. Its been awhile now, and I've had to grow without you. As much as i always thought that it would destroy me..I feel like it has healed me. I have learned so much about myself. I have had to think about what I like, and what makes me happy. I've had to put pressure on myself, and learn what responsibility is. I'm not saying it's easy without you, but the hurt is finally gone. The need for you is healed, and my mind is back to thinking that I'm better off. You own a spot in my heart that I can't cover up. It's always going to be there. You were right, I depended on you way to much, and now that dependance is on a higher power. I was lost in a whilwind of hurt and distruction, I made it my mission to hurt everyone that came into my life, all because I was hurt myself. I'm not saying I'm completely fixed, but I feel better. I feel happy, and I feel like I can live my life without you now. I can grow up, and do what I want with the people I've made a part of my life. I have tried so long to come to terms with it, but God and my family have given me so much strength and perserverence that I am finally able to live my life, without the pain of not having you there. I thank you for the love and guidence you have given me. I still want you there more than ever, but only if it's Gods way. I'm trying to find my way, and I'm happy I can finally rely on myself this time.