Growing up..but how?

I want to be an amazing mommy. Not only amazing, but smart, and I want to be able to show Kaylin the right way to do something. I feel like every time I look at the person I want to be, I feel so far away. Am I only caring about myself, I don't feel like I am, but as I read my blog I see that everything has been about me.
I spend every minute I can with this little girl, but yet I haven't written about her in ages. What is wrong with me?

So Easter...hmm. well I work, which wasn't my plan at all. I dream of an Easter where we can cookout, Kaylin can play with sidewalk chalk and other girls her age, while we have friends over. Yes that is the dream..but there are no such "friends". I thought I had friends one time, but I guess as you get older and more mature, you realize that you don't have as much in common as you believed you did. So there is me and my daughter. I learn from her everyday. She makes me laugh, and she is growing so fast. I feel like I look away and she is another inch tall.
Blonder hair is starting to come in more, and her smile is so contagious. I can't help but fall helpless as she shoots me a grin when she does something she shouldn't be doing. I love this though! I love that I can be a mom and be with her as much as I am. I feel like she is a part of me, as if she never left my tummy. I feel like I know her like nobody else does, and that even a few hours without her turns my tummy crashing down like a roller coaster. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
                 So for Easter I think me and Andrew will hopefully do an Easter egg hunt, cookout for ourselves, and just enjoy the company of our family. Where ever our family goes, or who ever we meet, I am just glad to say that I have them. I hope to get a bunch of Easter pictures Saturday..I just can't wait to see who I turn out to be, and who I have Kaylin grow up to be.